On the wedding night, after we had fallen deeply in love, I suddenly asked him why he wanted to marry me? He was stunned for a moment and laughed, because I love you, because we are well-matched, because we love each other.

I am very satisfied with his answer. Indeed, we are a well-matched couple. Both of our parents are ordinary people, and he and I are ordinary white-collar workers. Our education level and growth background are very similar.

When we were in love, he was smart and capable and had a lot of luck with women, but he always loved me wholeheartedly. I would not agree to marry a playboy-like man. A man and a woman who love each other will definitely be together for life and happy like gods, I thought so.

However, the reality of life after marriage is that there is a problem between us: our sex refuses to be in love with each other.

Before marriage, I was worried that he would think I was a woman who was greedy for sexual enjoyment, and I was also afraid that he would misunderstand me as a frivolous woman. Therefore, I was very taboo to talk about sex with him, and our interactions were limited to hugging. And he also politely maintained a gentlemanly demeanor and never crossed the line.
After marriage, he suddenly became passionate and unrestrained in this regard. He liked to instill all kinds of sexual knowledge in me. Sometimes, he would bring back some erotic movies, and practiced by imitating them with an eager-to-learn look. And I, from a single woman to a wife and daughter-in-law, my role has changed. Not only do I have to adapt to the new life with my husband, but I also have to deal with housework, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships, etc. Although he was there to help me deal with these tedious housework that must be in marriage life, he was not as delicate as a woman after all, and he handled it simply and roughly, and always needed me to finish it behind. So, I often felt physically tired, and I was still a little bit restrained, so I ignored his various “teachings” in various ways.
He began to express dissatisfaction, but I thought that since we were married, the main goal now was to have a healthy child and make money to improve the quality of life. As long as he really loved me, he would not be dissatisfied with how much sex knowledge and skills I had, right? Besides, sex is not something that can be eaten as food.

Maybe he thought what I said was reasonable, and he did not refute it.

After that, the days flowed like a gentle stream. Our sex life was like eating instant noodles, fast and simple, and we ate it, but it didn’t taste good. He no longer mentioned any new tricks, and it was always the same old thing every time. Sometimes I felt a little tired, but when I thought about it, I rejected him first, so how could I have the nerve to ask him again at this time. His temper also changed. He was a big man who loved to talk. He was full of jokes outside, but he was often silent at home, reading books.

Silence in marriage is a sign of one partner’s affair. One day, after hearing this sentence from a colleague, I began to worry about my marriage with him.

At this time, “Lust, Caution” began to sweep the country. He was very excited and took me to see this movie on a weekend. After coming back, he said to me excitedly, “Honey, there is a sex position in the movie called the paper clip position. I heard that this position can stimulate the sensitive parts of both parties and get strong pleasure, but it is a difficult position. If you imitate it too much, it will hurt your body. I read this from a book.”

It has been a few days since I heard him impart such sexual knowledge to me like now, but looking at his happy and expectant face, I thought, should I learn and discuss this kind of knowledge more from this “teacher”?

I smiled and joked, “Why don’t we imitate it once, and then discuss whether we can improve its shortcomings?” After that, I took the initiative to kiss him, and he immediately hugged me tightly…

Needless to say, because of the consensus, this night between him and me was full of spring and intense entanglement.
Later, I changed myself, took the initiative to learn more about sex, and talked with him. The bedroom naturally became our sex class, and he and I were tireless students. Gradually, our relationship improved significantly, and sex began to be mutually agreeable.

Once, after a pleasant lingering, he said that our current sex class has moved from a middle school classroom to a college classroom, and in the future, we will have to sit in the same seat and strive to become graduate students and doctoral students.

I laughed at his humor, but at this time, I already understood: it turns out that a marriage with only equal status or mutual affection does not necessarily mean that the couple can stay together until old age and live happily like gods. The couple also needs to have the same knowledge of sex, the intensity of sexual desire, and the real “sexual happiness” of equal status to make life icing on the cake and happy.

Expert guidance: Sexual happiness of lifelong partners also requires matching degree

What do you look for in a lifelong partner? Look at appearance, education, family background, or whether the other party is rich? These seem to be considered, but now there should be one more thing, that is, whether you are “equally matched” in terms of sex. In today’s increasingly open sexual concepts, the sexual matching degree of two people will have a significant impact on the marriage relationship. Statistics show that more than 70% of marriage breakdowns are directly related to disharmonious sexual relationships.

Sexual matching includes the physiological and sexual psychological matching of men and women, mainly referring to the coordination and unity of both parties in many aspects such as sexual health status, sexual desire and sexual ability.

For a woman, her living environment in the three years before and after her puberty has a great impact on her future attitude towards sex. If a girl grows up in a very closed environment in the three years before and after puberty, generally there will be no problem with premarital sex. If a man wants her to be a less proactive and more disciplined woman, then you can choose a traditional and closed family. But she may be a wife who is more likely to be frigid.
The Kinsey Sexology Report believes that the earlier a man’s first orgasm occurs, the stronger his sexual ability will be throughout his life. Women can find out when his puberty begins. Because women have various choices. Some women may hope that men have stronger sexual ability, like real men, like strong men. But some women do not need such people, nor do they like such people. They hope that their husbands will be more gentle, considerate, and not so sexually demanding. This requires understanding the man’s sexual status in advance.

People who are particularly enthusiastic, energetic, and have strong interpersonal skills generally have stronger sexual desires. If you are a very romantic person and a person who pays attention to mood, it is more suitable to find such a person as a companion. People who are slow, inactive, and calm should find someone with a quiet personality and low sexual desire.

Some rigid and stubborn people have high sexual desires, but they will bring this characteristic to sex. They do what first and what later, and follow the rules step by step. Therefore, after marriage, people with this personality will also stick to which day of the week to have sex and which day not to have sex. People with this kind of living habits will behave very rigidly in life and work. If you are also a person with a regular schedule, then it is suitable. But if you are a romantic person who likes to change things up in life, it is not suitable to find a person with a rigid living habit.
Personality can also lead to sexual disharmony. For some people with personality defects, it is not important to complain about your partner or blindly learn sexual skills, but to work hard to improve your personality first. Some people have been spoiled since childhood and have always been self-centered. Therefore, they lack the ability to understand others. Such people tend to be demanding of each other in sex life. Once a conflict occurs, they will only blame their partner and will not take the initiative to compromise.