△Hello, I have some private questions I’d like to ask. I’m feeling confused and like something’s wrong with me.

▲It’s okay, it’s nothing.

△Here’s the thing: I found out my wife had sex with someone else at home before, and we had a huge fight when we got home! But afterwards, our sex life improved significantly (before, she always complained of pain during sex, and she didn’t have any technique). Now she has another man she’s having an affair with, and we not only don’t argue anymore, but I also really enjoy listening to the details of her sex life with that other man. This is a difficult issue to discuss with anyone, and I hope you can help me resolve this. Am I psychologically abnormal?

▲Was your sex life bad before?

△It was pretty good before, but it got worse after we had a child.

▲And then it got better after the affair?

△Yes, now I feel more in sync with her than during the period after we got married.

▲Did you catch her lover, and she cooperated with you, making you feel better?

△No, I just really enjoy listening to her talk about how she has sex with other people, and she tells me every detail.

▲Do you feel sexually aroused after hearing this?

△Yes, and very strongly, but I don’t want to listen anymore after I ejaculate. Sometimes, if I don’t go home for a month, I especially crave her having sex with someone else, and then we can talk again.

▲Are you willing for her to continue her relationship with her lover?

△Yes.

▲Are you willing to continue like this with her? Have your feelings for her changed?

△I am willing. We both still want to be together, but we feel that having a child is maintaining a family bond. Do you think I have a mental illness? Are there any indicators I can use to assess myself?

▲Your sexual psychology is somewhat unusual.

△Is it different from a mental illness? Actually, there’s another reason I’m willing for her to be with other people: before, she always complained of pain during sex, but she said she had sex four times a night with that other person without any pain, which makes me feel guilty. ▲Is it still like this? Does it still hurt when I’m with you?

△It still hurts, but with more technique, the pain is less. Do you think women really experience pain? I only have her as my partner; I have no other sexual experience. Actually, I often buy similar books and follow the instructions, but she still complains of pain. Do you think I have a psychological issue? Should I continue listening, stop her, or just stop asking and listening after she does it?

▲It’s not normal for you to have this kind of mentality. But there’s a reason for it: disharmony in your sex life. To solve this problem, I suggest you watch sex videos before having sex to arouse her sexual desire, which might reduce the pain. If she’s always having extramarital sex, it might affect your family.

△She said that when she’s with me, her genitals are dry, and that other person always kisses her there. Do you think kissing there works? Is kissing there necessary during marital sex? Is it hygienic?

▲There are sex videos available; you can watch them together. Besides, there’s no such thing as hygiene in marital sex.

△Oh, so how do I adjust my mindset?

▲You don’t have a major psychological problem. Once that problem is resolved, you won’t let your wife see other men.

△Oh.

▲You’re still young, how old are you? As you get older, you mature in this area.

△I’m twenty-eight. You said if I don’t come home for several months, will my wife seek out other men because of her sexual desires?

▲Generally speaking, even if you have sexual desires, you have to control them and not mess around with others. Are you often away from home?

△Because of work, I need to be away for long periods of time, several months, half a year, or even a year.

▲Oh. This is also a reason for your disharmonious sex life. Couples should try to spend as much time together as possible.

△You said that when I’m not home, is it normal for her to allow her to satisfy her sexual needs with others? Can I talk to her about it?

▲Couples must be loyal to each other and not have casual sexual relations with others! This is a moral requirement. If you allow it, this might happen: she might develop feelings for someone else and sleep with them, and your marriage will be in jeopardy. Furthermore, casual sexual relations can lead to the infection of many diseases, such as AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases.

△ Hmm. Are there any medications or foods that can reduce libido? Because I haven’t been home for a long time, and I don’t go to prostitutes, but my libido is very high. I’ve been thinking about whether there are any medications or foods that can reduce libido.

▲ You can masturbate, or it’s best to try to bring your wife with you.

△ My job doesn’t allow me to bring her with me. You said that a man’s sexual skills require having sex with many women?

▲ Of course not. Have you ever watched sex videos? They’re all on there.

△ Yes, I’ve bought several, but they’re completely unsuitable. Please don’t laugh, but I don’t like random positions.

▲ That’s the problem. Your wife likes it. It requires mutual cooperation; you have to adapt to her needs. That’s called sexual harmony. Buy the videos, and you should watch them together. The key is that your partner needs to be aroused and have desire.

△ She keeps saying she doesn’t like sex, she just wants someone to hug her.

▲ Then hug her first, and then do it. Hugging is also a prelude to sex. This is called foreplay; it arouses her sexual desire, and then she won’t feel pain.

△ Oh, sex is so complicated.

▲ It is complicated; it’s an important aspect of a person’s mental life. Okay, read more erotic novels.

△ So, should I continue asking her questions or not?

▲ It’s best not to ask anymore. Otherwise, she’ll think about other people’s good points, and she’ll have even less sexual desire for you, and it will hurt more. You need to make her feel that you’re good and that you can bring her sexual happiness.

△ So, I can’t stop her from having sex with other people, and I shouldn’t ask anymore?

▲ Then you need to talk to her. She can’t have sex with other people, otherwise you should divorce her and find another woman; perhaps that would be better. Both of you should cherish each other.

△ Okay, I’ll take your advice to heart. How does she satisfy her sexual desire when I’m not home? Does a lack of sex make a woman age faster?

▲ She can masturbate. Both men and women can do it.

△ Oh, women can too!

▲ Yes, she can also buy sex toys online. Since you’ve been separated for a long time, from a humanistic perspective, this is acceptable.

△ Okay, thank you very much.

▲ You can also tell her about our conversation today; that’s also a form of communication, a way to convey feelings.

△ No, I don’t want her to know my inner struggle.

▲ That’s fine too. I wish you happiness.

△ Thank you.